These Boys!!!

Now this post has taken me a while to write for a number of reasons. Mainly because I needed to make sure what I was witnessing was not just an occasional phenomenon. But as my time grows in China, I have come to expect certain characteristics from the male species. In some ways, they are no different from the guys back home. On the other hand, they truly make me miss a good ole American boy!

These Boys, These Boys, These Boys.... Where to begin

For startes....The locals!

The boys here seems to mature just a bit faster than the girls. That isn't saying much since people here mature 5-7 years slower than most of world. They are smart, educated men that do not seem to hit manhood until somewhere between 30 and 40. You have those that are "boo'd up" are wearing their "going steady" outfits, and carrying their loved ones purse. They walk around with their heads held high like they are just the best thing since sliced bread. Those that are single can't wait to fall in love. There is actually something very sweet and innocent about them. This post in no way reflects the questionable boys with their spiral curls and polyester skinny leg pants. This is just about those normal everyday Chinese boys. It can be quite hard to tell them apart, but there is a difference. These guys have no fear of expressing their sensitive side. They are just as modest as the girls, if not more. Some just desperately fall in love to avoid their parents nagging them or forcing an arranged marriage. In all of my time in China, I have never seen a Chinese boy with a foreign girl. It is very common to see the reverse. I often wonder if it is tradition that keeps them in search of the perfect or, at least, good enough Chinese girl. Their naivety is sincere. Their idea of cool is just what they see on television. Oh... and smart... is an understatement. Most of the young men that I have met are brilliant. However, they are easily intimidated. I try to be as easygoing in my class as possible to make them as comfortable as possible. I learned the hard way though why not to accept dinner from them though. A dinner date makes it official. And it usually heads south from right about, "you teach me English and I teach you Chinese...ok?"

And the Foreign guys!

They can often seem just as weird as the Chinese boys. Guys, who would never get the time of day in the western world, live it up in China. Chinese girls are easily attracted to them for reason most foreign girls wouldn't look twice at. It is actually ridiculous. They get so caught up in their fairy tales in China that they forget how to treat a girl who is not Chinese. They are confused when I quickly put them in their place, and remind them that they have nothing they can offer me. Now, most of the foreign guys are really cool. I have some great friends from all over the world. Some of them even have legitimate good relationships with local girls. A few are even married. This is strictly for the foreign guys that find it hard to stay level headed. The have local girls who just need to hear the words I love you, and they will treat you like emperor of China. They also have the occasional foreign girl who maybe practically in need of just some good male attention. What is acting out of desperation for her, is filling his head with hot air. As for me with most foreign boys, I lay it straight from jump street. My friends will vouch for how many times I have stated, "Sweetie... You wack!"...lol... and walked away.

My African Brothers....

Before I go into this particular group of foreign guys, I have nothing against those who are socially and nationally African. They are really nice people. I know where I come from. I love and respect my heritage. But, there is a very distinct difference between African American men and African Men. As people, there are mostly very nice and pretty cool.... once you get passed their mumbling when they speak English or their unnecessary arrogance. Most of them I fuss at for not fixing their hair or managing their appearance. I remind them that they must be careful of the perception that they give off. There is already a stigma against them. In order for them to compete, they must work twice as hard, and look their best. Many of them, I up keep their locks. It is for a fee of course, but I don't charge them as much as I should, because most are college students, and they need it done regardless. On the other hand, I have had four marriage proposals in the 6 months I have been in China. Main reason is I am black with an American Passport. Then they have the audacity to get upset when the answer is clearly no and "lose my number crazy". They seem to be more intimidated than the locals. That is because I throw them off from their first lie. Nobody likes to be lied to. But, like other foreign boys, they forget how to treat a girl who is not Chinese. So, when they start those lame tales. I call B.S. quick. I have no problem asking to see their passport, or reminding them that I can tell by their accent that they are not American.... walking around looking like The Five Heart Beats! Since living in China, I see African men in a whole new light. I expected a certain "Regal"ness about them. The essence of wisdom and strength. It is bad to say it like this, but that is just not how they are portrayed on TV. lol. Instead of strong black men, I found whiny, arrogant little boys. As soon as we meet, all they see is little black babies and a trip to America. I refuse!!!!!

But there is one more....

It seems like a once in a lifetime kind of deal. You cross paths with a gentlemen who fits none of thee above.   It is rare and precious to meet someone, who is more than just a foreigner and the same ethnicity than you. A person who is symbolic of a little taste of home, yet with an adventurous spice. Someone open minded with a relaxing sense of self. a person who hosts a get a way with in themselves. It can be so relieving to share the same space with a person who actually gets your humor; knows exactly how to interact with you; and provides a comfort zone that can only can be found at home. He isn't an ordinary guy that is just reaping the benefits of being the nearest resemblance of home. He actually fits the bill. I don't even know what to say about this kind of expat.... I will say though, it is only luck, or some cruel joke. However, it nice to be able to enjoy the moment whenever you can.

I am not sure this post did Boys in China any justice. but, hopefully you get the drift. They do keep things interesting. But, you know me... too much about my business to get caught up in some foolishness lol. I'm Just Joshin!

Until next time... Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers, as you are always in mine!