#TIC

Many of us know the "Excuses Poem". It states that excuses are the tools of the incompetent, and are only used to build monuments of nothingness. For most of us, we know that even if we are giving an excuse that eventually we will have to face the music, and face the situation directly. But, here, on the other side of the world, they have built an entire country on an excuse. THIS IS CHINA! What they do not know will not hurt them. Everything is fine as long as there is peace and harmony; and never mind the big elephant in the room. The less you know or understand, the better. Here, things get done because they are suppose to be done. There is never a question of why or how? They just do. Acceptance is Ignorance and Ignorance is Acceptance. The people lose themselves in this effort to become united. And as a foreigner living here, it is hard to hold on to your individualism and your expectations. Often times, I find myself questioning whether or not I am being the stubborn American. I feel lost in a sea of unrealistic peace. It is something that some say I must get use to and accept. However, I fear how that will effect me in the long run. Other foreigners find it quite easy to just go with the flow of #TIC. So far, I have not been able to talk myself into it. I don't think I can or that I should really. When I even considering the excuse for a reason, I can feel the sensation of just being slapped upside my head for being so "no manners". I understand the culture is different, and certain things you do just have to let people be themselves. Yet, perhaps, our humanity should sometimes over-ride our sense of self preservation, and maybe consider doing what is best for others.

Movers and Pushers....

Sadly, it has become funny to watch the locals push and shove each other to get on the bus, order food, or even just use the restroom. My first reaction is that it is not that serious! In Kindergarten, we learned how to line up in a single file line, how to take turns, and the value of please and thank you. We were reprimanded  for cutting the line or standing out of place. With that in mind, I stand back, and watch people fight to be first on an already packed bus so that they can get where they are going. Many times, with just a little patience, they would have noticed the other bus going the same way with less of a rush. But, that is there natural reaction. to hurry up and get it, because if you don't, you will miss it. The country is so big, that the people have gotten use to always fighting for what they need, or not getting it at all. So as the country expands, the peoples mentality has stayed the same. It has become so ingrained in their persona, that no one minds pushing or being pushed. As for me, I am ready to snap on the next person who brushes past me. At times, I try my best to be a reflection of an act of kindness. Most aren't sure what to do with it. It is really a test to my patience and temper. As I work on those things, it is hard to also balance the other side. Which is a disapproval for the lack of courtesy. I can't let that become okay with me. Yet, everyday, it seems harder and harder to adapt to the nature of the people and hold to my standards.

Table Manners....

Often times when I am out to dinner, locals will come up to us.  They either want to talk to us in English or Chinese, have a toast, or plainly just watch us eat. Now, this is not the way they treat each other, but because we are foreigners and this is China, we have to put up with these interruptions. I understand that business is done and relations are built over drinks. But, whether my dinner is casual or intimate, I do not want to be bothered. I am trying to eat...lol!  I don't drink, so many get offended when I raise my glass of water; or raise the glass they brought me,... and then sit it down. lol... I find it hilarious! I try not to hide my disgust as they disturb my dinner. I usually am the one to say goodbye or get a way as rudely as possible. And by that point I don't care that I am looked at as an ambassador for the west, because in the west this behavior is unacceptable. You do not interrupt others when you are not directly involved with them. And....you know me! I am usually stuffing my face anyway....lol. I have to admire though the reason they do it. Most are just trying to be friendly. However, there is a time and a place for everything; and standing over me while I eat is not it!!!

Home Sweet Home....

Just other day, I went apartment hunting. I used an agent at first. He met me and a coworker of mine, who was going to interpret for us, on the corner. I told them exactly what I needed. Some locals may say it was a bit too picky, but I didn't want to buy my own refrigerator or air condition unit. I wanted to live in a tall building with an elevator, and not a 6 floor walk up. I compromised for location however. I advised that I was willing to not stay in the city center in order to get a nicer, newer place. They first place that I was shown was a walk up. I said no from jump street. I gave in and looked at the apartment anyway. It was old. Things were broken. They kitchen and the bathroom was almost all in one, and the beds had no mattress. The neighborhood was right next to the upscale department stores, and the supermarkets, and the business district. Yet, behind the wall of luxuries buildings, they had walked me into the ghetto. There was an outside market with vegetables, trinkets, meat hanging on lines, and dead fish in tubs of water waiting to be sold. You can probably imagine the smell!!! I am already highly disappointed and annoyed at the waste of time. The second place had a nicer building, but not that much better. The apartment was actually very nice, but everything from the last tenant was still in the house. He had just moved out and left everything behind. For instance, the eaten sunflower seed shell that were left in the glass coffee table drawer; or the mildewed rags hanging in the bathroom. With no regard to #TIC, I asked the question, "So, ya'll really show your clients dirty apartments?" The agent, as well as my interrupter,  shrugged their shoulders and blatantly replied "Yes...". You could tell by agents facial expression that he thought I was just asking for too much. Needless to say, he did not charge us for the visit, and was probably elated not to have me for a client. lol.

In my experience thus far, I have spoken to many locals. Most will tell you that their is a standard of courtesy and manners that exists in China. It is out of necessity that many bad behaviors has become habitual. As they have open their borders, times begins to change. Yet, the people are finding it difficult to break the habits that have become tradition. So, many English students savor over the chance to explore another country, or enter into western society. But, they fear that it will be overwhelming getting use to the culture. I just taught an etiquette class the other day to some high school students. I walked a thin line, because I did not want to extinguish their dream of traveling abroad, but I really wanted to address the difference between the cultures. With that, I plan to continue not excusing their reason not to be polite; or  respect the privacy of others; or not to take pride in their appearance. However, I must keep in mind that perception is reality, and these people do what they must. It is not until any of us learn better that we actually do better. So instead of being a part of the problem, I must find away to create a solution. Maybe, this could be a calling to teach English etiquette. There could be a lot of money in that.... We shall see what the future holds!

Next Post.... Foreigners... Modern day Geishas! (Coming really soon since I am so behind...I've been busy!)