Foreigners.... The Modern day Geisha!

For those who have not seen the movie "Memoirs of a Geisha".....A Geisha: One of a class of professional women in Japan trained from girlhood in conversation, dancing, and singing in order to entertain professional or social gatherings of men. (www.freedictionary.com). However, a Geisha is strictly Japanese. In China, the equivalent would not be called a Geisha. The character used to describe these types of women would be the same symbol for prostitutes. Though, in Ancient Asia, most did not deliver any sexual services. These courtesans were artist. They danced, painted, played music, and sang. They were used as representations for love, beauty, and honor. There are many differences culturally between the Geishas in Japan, and their predecessors of China. A Geisha, in the Ancient term, no longer exists in China. Japanese Geishas are not allowed in China. It is now looked at as strictly prostitution here; and relies most on the underground market for survival. Yet, to fulfill that essences that a courtesan would bring to their social environments, they now look to their foreigners. 


Before, I go any further, there is no sexually connotation that is meant by this blog. That is not to say that it does not happen, but that it does not make or reflect my point. Outside of the usual work or school that brought most of us to China, it is very easy to find side jobs "showing face" for the locals. Some businesses will welcome all foreigners just to show up because it makes them look better to the other locals. Having an establishment that is good enough for foreigners means that you can attract more high class, sophisticated locals. It allows you to charge more for your products or your services. Meanwhile, giving things to the foreigner for free to show their appreciation; and to also mark their status. There are plenty of business that will pay you to sit in there establishment, or to make an appearance. However, these types of gigs are easier to come by if you are of Caucasian descent. Business men will pay white women about $125.00 an hour to stand and pretend to play the violin as they conduct their business. Clubs and restaurants will pay foreigners to lip sing, or even just to show up and partake in their affairs. Being a foreigner usually means instant VIP. Forever flowing drinks and fruit; and all they ask is that every once in awhile you dance to their music or be friendly to the surrounding locals. 


Earlier, I mentioned that these jobs are readily accessible to white....light...fair skinned people. The flip side of this coin is a mass amount of discrimination to my African brothers and Sisters. This, to a point, does not effect me. Once, or if, they reach the realization that I am American...or mixed blood....as I am often referred as. Yet, the first impression is that all African guys are drug dealers, and all the girls are prostitutes......AND.....ALL BLACK PEOPLE COME FROM AFRICA!!! lol. So, if you haven't figured it out yet, I learned rather quickly to stay away from this scene. First, if they do want to hire me, they not bout to have me standing around like some monkey in no zoo. Second, I clear for lord, I will never give them the opportunity to judge me because of the color of my skin! ....mmhmm...yep.... I meant to say it just like that! Lastly, of course that is not what I came over here for. I am here to make money, but mostly just to better myself and make the folks back home proud. If I wanted to keep hustlin to make ends meet, I would have stayed where I was. I do understand some of the college students taking those kinds of jobs. They are not technically allowed to work. But, many will have no source of income without it. Some send money home. Others are saving to bring their families here. There are plenty of reasons, but for me, my dignity just won't allow. I was discriminated once, but I had no idea what I was walking into. The offered us free food and drinks and money just to be present for three hours. That went on for awhile, but eventually the truth came out. I wasn't present that day thankfully. I feel that I would have lost all behavior if I had been there. They only promised to pay the Africans that night, if they promised not to come back. They only wanted the white foreigners to stay from that point on. But, that is all I needed to hear to know not to put myself in that situation again. 


Needless to say, no matter what job a foreigner has, their number one role is ambassador to the western world. It is almost as if we are walking billboards. We bring to life what the west is really like, and not just them vicariously experiencing it through HBO. Everything we do is examined or scrutinized. Not everyone's perception will be positive, but it is their perception still. We are hired by companies to promote English speech for the benefit of listening to a native speaker; as well as to support the standard of prestige of offering a foreign teacher as part of their services. As I am teaching, they will take pictures of  my class. They introduce me to whomever necessary. For the most part, I do not really mind. I enjoy networking, and on the other hand... it is nice to receive attention because you are educated and professional; and not just because you a cute monkey in a zoo. So often the lines get blurred between being that ambassador, and being a maverick. Even when the attention is good, and they are staring because they think that you are beautiful; I need to be acknowledged as a human being. I did come here to provide a service, but I am not a toy. I am not to be used, or misconstrued as available at your leisure. It is not my purpose to cater to the needs of locals. I want to be treated as an intellectual, and an individual. I am here to work, to learn, and to expand my brand. There is so much more you can receive from a person when you no longer perceive what you possibly can gain from them. I wish we lived in a world that ingrained the necessity of manners and education everywhere; and not just this corrupt ideal of socialization. 


Thanks for reading... I know I have venting a lot lately, but adjusting to life here has its ups and downs. Hopefully, my next blog will be a little more upbeat! 


Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Love, De'

#TIC

Many of us know the "Excuses Poem". It states that excuses are the tools of the incompetent, and are only used to build monuments of nothingness. For most of us, we know that even if we are giving an excuse that eventually we will have to face the music, and face the situation directly. But, here, on the other side of the world, they have built an entire country on an excuse. THIS IS CHINA! What they do not know will not hurt them. Everything is fine as long as there is peace and harmony; and never mind the big elephant in the room. The less you know or understand, the better. Here, things get done because they are suppose to be done. There is never a question of why or how? They just do. Acceptance is Ignorance and Ignorance is Acceptance. The people lose themselves in this effort to become united. And as a foreigner living here, it is hard to hold on to your individualism and your expectations. Often times, I find myself questioning whether or not I am being the stubborn American. I feel lost in a sea of unrealistic peace. It is something that some say I must get use to and accept. However, I fear how that will effect me in the long run. Other foreigners find it quite easy to just go with the flow of #TIC. So far, I have not been able to talk myself into it. I don't think I can or that I should really. When I even considering the excuse for a reason, I can feel the sensation of just being slapped upside my head for being so "no manners". I understand the culture is different, and certain things you do just have to let people be themselves. Yet, perhaps, our humanity should sometimes over-ride our sense of self preservation, and maybe consider doing what is best for others.

Movers and Pushers....

Sadly, it has become funny to watch the locals push and shove each other to get on the bus, order food, or even just use the restroom. My first reaction is that it is not that serious! In Kindergarten, we learned how to line up in a single file line, how to take turns, and the value of please and thank you. We were reprimanded  for cutting the line or standing out of place. With that in mind, I stand back, and watch people fight to be first on an already packed bus so that they can get where they are going. Many times, with just a little patience, they would have noticed the other bus going the same way with less of a rush. But, that is there natural reaction. to hurry up and get it, because if you don't, you will miss it. The country is so big, that the people have gotten use to always fighting for what they need, or not getting it at all. So as the country expands, the peoples mentality has stayed the same. It has become so ingrained in their persona, that no one minds pushing or being pushed. As for me, I am ready to snap on the next person who brushes past me. At times, I try my best to be a reflection of an act of kindness. Most aren't sure what to do with it. It is really a test to my patience and temper. As I work on those things, it is hard to also balance the other side. Which is a disapproval for the lack of courtesy. I can't let that become okay with me. Yet, everyday, it seems harder and harder to adapt to the nature of the people and hold to my standards.

Table Manners....

Often times when I am out to dinner, locals will come up to us.  They either want to talk to us in English or Chinese, have a toast, or plainly just watch us eat. Now, this is not the way they treat each other, but because we are foreigners and this is China, we have to put up with these interruptions. I understand that business is done and relations are built over drinks. But, whether my dinner is casual or intimate, I do not want to be bothered. I am trying to eat...lol!  I don't drink, so many get offended when I raise my glass of water; or raise the glass they brought me,... and then sit it down. lol... I find it hilarious! I try not to hide my disgust as they disturb my dinner. I usually am the one to say goodbye or get a way as rudely as possible. And by that point I don't care that I am looked at as an ambassador for the west, because in the west this behavior is unacceptable. You do not interrupt others when you are not directly involved with them. And....you know me! I am usually stuffing my face anyway....lol. I have to admire though the reason they do it. Most are just trying to be friendly. However, there is a time and a place for everything; and standing over me while I eat is not it!!!

Home Sweet Home....

Just other day, I went apartment hunting. I used an agent at first. He met me and a coworker of mine, who was going to interpret for us, on the corner. I told them exactly what I needed. Some locals may say it was a bit too picky, but I didn't want to buy my own refrigerator or air condition unit. I wanted to live in a tall building with an elevator, and not a 6 floor walk up. I compromised for location however. I advised that I was willing to not stay in the city center in order to get a nicer, newer place. They first place that I was shown was a walk up. I said no from jump street. I gave in and looked at the apartment anyway. It was old. Things were broken. They kitchen and the bathroom was almost all in one, and the beds had no mattress. The neighborhood was right next to the upscale department stores, and the supermarkets, and the business district. Yet, behind the wall of luxuries buildings, they had walked me into the ghetto. There was an outside market with vegetables, trinkets, meat hanging on lines, and dead fish in tubs of water waiting to be sold. You can probably imagine the smell!!! I am already highly disappointed and annoyed at the waste of time. The second place had a nicer building, but not that much better. The apartment was actually very nice, but everything from the last tenant was still in the house. He had just moved out and left everything behind. For instance, the eaten sunflower seed shell that were left in the glass coffee table drawer; or the mildewed rags hanging in the bathroom. With no regard to #TIC, I asked the question, "So, ya'll really show your clients dirty apartments?" The agent, as well as my interrupter,  shrugged their shoulders and blatantly replied "Yes...". You could tell by agents facial expression that he thought I was just asking for too much. Needless to say, he did not charge us for the visit, and was probably elated not to have me for a client. lol.

In my experience thus far, I have spoken to many locals. Most will tell you that their is a standard of courtesy and manners that exists in China. It is out of necessity that many bad behaviors has become habitual. As they have open their borders, times begins to change. Yet, the people are finding it difficult to break the habits that have become tradition. So, many English students savor over the chance to explore another country, or enter into western society. But, they fear that it will be overwhelming getting use to the culture. I just taught an etiquette class the other day to some high school students. I walked a thin line, because I did not want to extinguish their dream of traveling abroad, but I really wanted to address the difference between the cultures. With that, I plan to continue not excusing their reason not to be polite; or  respect the privacy of others; or not to take pride in their appearance. However, I must keep in mind that perception is reality, and these people do what they must. It is not until any of us learn better that we actually do better. So instead of being a part of the problem, I must find away to create a solution. Maybe, this could be a calling to teach English etiquette. There could be a lot of money in that.... We shall see what the future holds!

Next Post.... Foreigners... Modern day Geishas! (Coming really soon since I am so behind...I've been busy!)