The Bus

THE BUS... As I begin to write this post, I have to recall the time when my family first went to Disney World. We stayed on the Disney campus, and the best mode of transportation was THE BUS. The stations were confusing. We got off on at the wrong places. We missed a few. We got lost. The experience of the bus was so exhausting, yet memorable that my Mother and I said we would write a story about it. We never got around to it. But, in essence of that experience, I figured I would share this one.

In Hefei, China, and most other places, there are five modes of daily transportation. You can walk of course. There are special lanes for electric bikes, regular bikes, and mopeds. You could drive yourself, or take a taxi. The last, but not least, option is to take the bus. Walking is probably the safest because of the reckless driving habits of the cars and the bikes. However, this takes too long, and is tiresome. You could drive or ride a bike. I won't be, because everyone in China needs to attend a driver's ed class! You are most likely to get hurt, unless you are used to fearlessly maneuvering through the traffic.  Taxis are extremely convenient. The driver is most likely a pro at dodging in and out of traffic. So, you will most likely be safe. However, those taxi cab costs add up, and can be quite expensive. For just 1 rmb, you can hop onto a bus at the nearest bus station and get to your destination in a matter of minutes, depending on the traffic.

The bus is a very popular option. As many people depend on the bus to get them where they need to be. The problem with the bus... Most of the time, they are over-crowded. Most Chinese people have no concern for personal space. So, they will pack on a bus like sardines. I was amazed the first time I saw it. The bus driver had to literally stop people from getting on the bus. For the people getting on the bus, it is nearly a competition to see who can get on the bus first. It is almost a natural reaction. There maybe no one on the bus, but those ready to board it, will rush to be the first on the bus. Only way to move around on the bus is to push. No one will naturally just move aside to let you through; and they don't mind if you push them to move. The bus driver moves as fast as he/she possible can down the road; and will slam on breaks to stop perfectly adjacent with the upcoming station. Imagine the poor passenger's on the bus who are standing. They are doing everything within their might to hold and keep their balance. When you get on the bus, you must hurry and find your spot. It won't be long before there is a huge jerk, and the bus is off to the next station.

My experiences on the bus.... Well, the bus announcement of the upcoming stop is in Chinese of course. So, I have no idea what it says. I have gotten off the bus too early, and had to walk for an hour. I was so lost. It was dark, no one could help me because they could not understand me. I had know idea where I was so I could not call  my boss to get directions. Eventually, I was able to get enough of a WiFi signal to look at my Google maps. Lucky I had marked home and school as points of interest. I mapped where I was, and figured out how to get home. There was a time when I missed my stop. I was riding and looking, riding and looking lol. And then the bus pulls into this shed. The driver says something to me, but I don't know what!!! Then he proceeds to get off the bus. Omg!!! So, I guess he is done. I get off the bus, and I look around. Nothing looks familiar! So, I hailed a taxi. I showed him my address, and he drove me two blocks down the street. He made a quick, unnecessary six bucks. There have been times when I have gotten caught on a crammed bus. It wasn't too packed when I got on, but it seems all of Hefei was waiting at the next stop up the road. They all got on the bus. That was a long ride. It seemed as if my stop would never come. When it finally did, it was a fight to get off the bus. Once, I was waiting at a bus stop for forever!!! Just to realize that the bus I was waiting for did not stop at this station. I was too tired. All this time I was waiting for the 15 or the 155, and the 4 bus that I should have been on had passed me three times already. On the bus, the people are so fascinated with my appearance, that they just sit and stare. Some will try to hide it, and others won't. Most don't mean any harm, but, after a long day, it is hard to put on a good face and be nice to the locals. One lady actually poked me...lol. I guess to make sure that I was real. I assume it was her daughter who called her attention to her behavior. I actually just laughed. The old lady was ashamed, so I shook her, and the young ladies hand. She spent the rest of the time talking and smiling at me. From that point on, Music became my very best friend...lol

If nothing at all, the bus has taught me not to sweat the small stuff. Even if it appears to be as big as a bus. I take my headphones with me everywhere. My music keeps me calm for the most part, and distracts me just enough from the foolishness that maybe going on around me. Sometimes, I still get lost; or I am not exactly sure of where I am. There are still occasions when I get off the bus too earlier. Now, I just appreciate the walk. In the month that I have been here, I have learned to memorize my surroundings. I am becoming familiar with street signs. I am constantly looking to see what buses stop at what stations. I am learning the times when the bus system is the busiest to avoid packed buses. I refuse to get on a bus that is over crowded or over capacity. The bus is dangerous enough as it is. I try my best to sit in the back. This way, I am not expected to get up for an older person. If I am sitting in the front, I will move. I know some foreigners who won't. Their reasoning is that if young Chinese people will not get up for their own elder's, why should they? I understand their point. However, I am doing my best to keep to my humanity and manners. Which are very easy to lose here. And, I can just picture being slapped upside my head for letting an old lady walk by me, and not giving her my seat. So, I do. No matter how tired. I give the old person my seat. And, if by chance I do not have a seat to give them, but there is a young person sitting down; I have no problem being the crazy foreigner and nudging them to move. They can't understand what I am saying, but they get my point. MOVE AND LET THE LADY SIT DOWN WITH YOUR NO MANNERS SELF!!! That is usually my statement. lol.

Through all my crazy misadventures, I have had some peaceful times on the bus. Quite times where I just ride. With my music going on a non crowded bus, I can actually begin unwinding from my day. Or, I can get my mindset together as I prepare to start another day. Also, I have come closer to some of my coworkers (Chinese and Foreign) on the bus. I have met some adorable children who were excited to practice their English. Plus, there is this hilarious cartoon that plays on the t.v. on the bus with a herd of sheep, and their watch dog. None of the animals speak.but they do make noises. Their little adventures on that show are hilarious. I don't know what the show is called, but I be dying on the bus laughing at that cartoon. LOL. Then the locals really think I am the crazy foreigner. Hey, what can I say? I love cartoons!

Anyway this my note about the Bus. I am not sure if it will really do THE BUS experience any justice. It maybe something you have to see for yourself. I will put some pics up soon about the bus system. Thanks again for reading. Your comments mean the world to me! Feel free to share my blog with others. Please continue to keep me in your thoughts and your prayers! Love you all!!!

This weeks song is dedicated to all of those who get exactly what they pray for....Even if it isn't what they expected <3!

p.s. I hope you got a kick out of this one Tri Tri! lol. LOVE you!!!

Til Death Do They Part

A few days ago, I had the pleasure of attending the wedding ceremony of two of my co-workers. It was a beautiful experience. I was very humble that they decided to share it with me and the other foreign teachers. When I pulled up to the reception, the first person I saw was the bride. Her English name is Jenny. She looked absolutely beautiful. Her dress was stunning, and her hair and make up flawless. It almost brought a tear to my eye, but I rushed up to her and gave her a big hug. All the other teachers (Chinese and Foreign)  were gathered around greeting and taking pictures. I caught a glimpse of Jackal, the groom. He was running around making sure everything was in order. As we took our seats, Coke, Sprite, Wine, Expensive Chinese Liquor, Pumpkin Seeds, and cigarettes were placed on each table's Lazy Susan. There were at least 100 people in attendance. As the ceremony began, the Groom stepped onto the red carpet holding his brides flowers. And then the Bride begins to walk down the red carpet. She stops under a canopy in the back. the Groom walks back to meet her and present her with her flowers. He falls to one knee. Then the both of them walk to the front as flowers and confetti are thrown in the air over their head. Fireworks are going off outside. It is 12 o'clock in the afternoon so you can't see them, but I think the point is just the sound. Once the couple is at the front, words of encouragement are given by selected individuals... including our manager. They exchange rings and kisses; and then their is a toast! Everyone claps and cheers as the Groom pics up a red suit case and takes his bride upstairs to their wedding suite. While we waited for them to return, food was served. A lot of food!!! And in wonderful Chinese tradition..lol... they started with the Foreigners!!! Each lazy susan was stacked 3 serving plates high with every type of meat possible. This includes turtle in the Shell!!! (yuck). Me, personally, I stuck to what I know. Chicken, Shrimp, Crab, and beef. There was also two soups, rice balls stuffed with pork, veggies, Chinese dinner rolls, and cupcakes with no icing. When the couple returned, the Bride was now wearing a red dress. Which is very symbolic to the "change". Hence, why they went into the hotel room with a red suitcase. The couple went to every table and toasted with them. Soon after, in the same manner they arrived, all of the Chinese guest left. It was if they all came together and are now were leaving together. In true foreigner fashion, we stayed! lol. We took pics with the bride and groom, and then we left.

I can imagine that this is every Chinese girls dream. Their entire families dream for that matter. It is expected for young people to finish university, get engaged, be married, and start their family at the age of 25. First, let me say, that I have met some Chinese girls who say they would love to get married, but not now. They have things they must accomplish. They are concerned about getting their lives together before starting a family. On the other hand, there are other girls... Who are so caught up in their traditions of mating that they pretty much do not care who the guy is as long as he puts a ring on it. Many have told me that they would like to grow up to be a house wife. I have met a few that would do anything for a man to say they love them. Which makes them easy targets for some foreign men. The real concern is that it is not love. Their culture has become so concern with continuing the family line that love is not a reason for marriage anymore. I do understand that their are many societies that hold that same standard, and many times love has very little to do with it. However, it was so good to see a couple like Jackal and Jenny. They actually love each other. So far it is evident that they will spend the rest of their lives together happily. This is something that many people can not say. It isn't that they grow apart, but they were never there to begin with. I know to most of the world marriage based on love is a fairy tale. However, I have seen the results of marriage with love as the foundation. My parents and My grandparents (The Grundys) are good examples of the absolute joy that comes from love. So, as I experience this culture of people and their ways, I notice the importance they put on getting married, and having a child. It was good to see that love could still be involved.

Jackal works three jobs, and Jenny works at the school full time. They paid for every bit of the wedding themselves, and no expense was spared. The only thing that was not paid for upfront was the cost Jackal had to pay to get into Jenny's family's home to find her shoes. He had to bribe the person at the door to let him to look for the shoes so that he could take his bride with him. She couldn't leave without her shoes of course. I think that is an adorable tradition. He said it cost him 500 RMBs. I told Jenny he should still be at the door! lol. They will vacation near the Yellow Mountains for a little over a week. I am sure their wedding cost a fortune, but they will not regret spendingit. As of now, I can say that they may stay together forever, and be happy about it.

So, anyway, enough mushy stuff! lol Appreciate your love ones, love yourselves, love others, and keep your heart open to receive the love of others.

Thanks a bunch for your comments and your prayers. Stay tuned for my next blog....THE BUS!!!!

LOVE YA!

Beauty is Skin Deep

What is the standard of beauty? We all have them... standards... goals... we wish to achieve in our physical appearance. But what if, that is all you have? And even that perception is built into you. How many of our daily routines are consumed with becoming the impossible? Without the everyday effort of obtaining this goal, you are nothing. What if you did not even exist on the spectrum of beauty???

One weekend at work, I was looking through the flashcards to use for my class, and I ran across three very interesting cards. They all had the same pictures of three women. Each card pointed to a different girl singling her out by pointing to what made her different from the other two. One card pointed to the white girl with the long flowing hair. Her word was long hair. The second card pointed to a white girl with wavy hair. It was entitled wavy hair. The last card pointed to a black girl with locks flowing from a pony tail, big lips, and big earrings. The title of this card....UGLY! My first emotion was infuriated. I took it personal. I am the ugly girl! I am suppose to go into the class; and teach these kids, who not only see a foreigner, but an ugly foreigner. My second emotion was disgust for their ignorance. None of the girls portrayed THEM. They don't even exist! Everything in me wants to say something. But, to who? Who would even understand? They would probably just try to sweep it under the rug anyway. Why should I expect to actually understand, or care? So I hid the cards...lol. And I taught my class.

These people are brought up believing that their skin must be lighter, their eyes must be bigger, and their hair smooth and blonde. Those are the standards of beauty. The billboards, to the ads, to pictures in the clothing store are all of either white people; or Chinese people who have reached the peak of this persona. You must be careful and read the labels!!! Mostly all of their body and facial care products contain "whitening". They carry umbrellas at all times to avoid contact with the sun. They have surgery to widen their eyes. The bleach their dark black hair until it is damaged beyond repair and orange. Then they just settle for being red heads lol.

If only they knew.... That darker skin is the ultimate protection from the sun, and many Caucasian women tan in hopes of having a hint of their color and their glow. That women draw lines on their eyes to give the illusion of their squinted eyes. Men find their long black hair and golden skin exotic. (Some men... maybe... I guess). If they only realized the commodity their race could be with just some self identity, and a little self pride. Trying to live in another's shadow, but the place has been filled time and time again. So all of their efforts back fire. They are even less identifiable than before. It is impossible to make your mark tracing someone else's foot prints in the sand.

So, I use the undeniable style my mother gave me, and the lesson my dad told me a long time ago. Effortlessly coordinated attire, light makeup and jewelry for an accent, and some smell good. On one hand I give them something to look at since they are gonna stare anyway. And on the other, show them the style, and grace that comes from being a beautiful African American. When they say, "Oh, you are so pretty". I remember Daddy saying, "It's okay. Just kill them with kindness!" So, I respond, "Thank you. You are pretty too." If I do not teach my students anything else, I want them to at least have some self esteem about themselves. I don't want them to recognize foreigners, and immediately go into how they are different or feel inferior. Instead, be confident enough to say, "Hello, How are you?" in English!

I am living proof that those flashcards are unnecessary and false. My complexion is beneficial and beautiful. My locks are healthy and manageable. My eyes are bold and dramatic. And little Chinese girl, you are the essence of beauty. Keep your golden skin. Keep your black kinky hair. Keep your mesmerizing dark eyes. If only you knew that these are standards of beauty that the rest of the world try to obtain. See the beauty that comes natural to you. .... Maybe that's it.... Everybody should just be natural....lol

28 hours later.... Welcome to Hefei!

On Thursday, September 22, 2011 at 6:15 in the morning, I flew from Charleston International Airport. I stopped in Atlanta, L. A. , and Shanghai. I landed in the Anhui Province of Hefei, China at 10:50 pm, Friday Night on September 23, 2011. The culture shock was overwhelming I was scared, and not the least bit tired. I was instantly ready to come home. I knew what I was here for, but I had no idea of what to expect. Every worst possible thought entered into my mind. I locked and barracked myself into my new room; and I cried myself to sleep. 

The next morning I woke up to Nino, my Chinese guide from the school, knocking on my door. I had to report to the school at 9:30 am. We left my apartment, and I got a really good look at where I am living. It was actually some what beautiful. I say that, to say.... that they have a lot of modern buildings, and beautiful gardens. Unfortunately the people are traditional and use to being poor. So, they don't always take care. or manage the upkeep, on their things. I live in an apartment complex with middle class families. A school practically in the backyard, and a playground for the kids. 

Anyway, as I am observing my surrounds, I realize that the locals are becoming intrigued by the "foreigner w/the dark skin". They can't help but stare. Some just wait to see my reaction, and others want a chance to practice the little English that they know. Altogether, this is making me nervous. I am quickly keeping up with Nino!!! She waves down a taxi, and we get in. The cab driver too!!! She is fascinated by the foreigner. Nino tells me she said that I look young, and wanted to know where I am from. I have no idea what she is saying. Hopefully, that is what it was. lol

I hadn't eaten since the plan ride to Shanghai. I was starving!!! Nino, being so kind, got me breakfast. She brought me a box of egg pastry things; and a sandwich with corn, and some kind of shredded meat on it. I didn't know what that was, and I wasn't hungry enough just to try it. So I gave it to the Chinese teachers. They loved it!!! Thankfully, the foreign teacher, that I was shadowing and replacing, took me to the coffee shop and bakery. I got some "better than Starbucks" coffee, and a piece of cake that tasted just like my Aunt's pound cake. I don't think I was mentally ready for "Authentic" Chinese food. For lunch, the foreign teachers and myself went to an American style restaurant. I ordered the meat lovers pizza, and some kinda fruit tea that was sugar-free. I was happy for little pieces of home. It was comforting in such an overwhelming time in my life. 

The Chinese teachers are all very nice, and can use English better than most. They were use to working with foreign teachers. They didn't act overly surprised to meet someone who was not Chinese. They were fascinated to see someone of dark skin, and locks in their hair. They had all been taught that pale skin, and long, blonde hair is the standard of beautiful. So for the whole day, the admired my skin, and my hair, and my eyes, and my clothes. After while, hearing you are so pretty got annoying. Please don't take that as conceited in anyway!!! And we will dig deeper into this surreal standard of beauty in a later post. Most of these people were from Hefei or a place like it; and have never lived anywhere else. So, there ideas of the world are clouded, or rather non-existent. But, overall they are really nice people, and good teachers. They work well with the kids. They work extremely hard for one-third of my salary. 

Overall, I can get use to living here. I still really miss home, but I will take advantage of this wonderful year. There will be pictures!!!! I will post at least 1-2 blogs a week. Feel free to ask questions and I will respond accordingly. Keep me in your prayers. If you have my contact info... use it! It is funny the appreciation you gain for the things or people you have lost, or rather are not as accessible. 

Next Post... Beauty is only Skin Deep?